the voice of my Heart

Thanks for Esther, Carmeny and others who understand my loneliness.

What I want the most during my last day is not the biggest gift but your last farewell good bye and a hand shake for our friendship. 

I am not complaining... the word is not so right :P ... but telling you what I hope the most during my last day... It sounds like I am so self-centred if I am complaining... You all give me a wonderful memory as you all are talented in many ways. 

But... 

Where were most of you when what I want the most is your presence and our friendship hand shake and hugs?

I sat alone in staff room with Kok Fei helping me to jot down who handed in what and what... My friends have their students surrounded them to say goodbye for the last time...They brought in joy and appreciation into the staff room... They thanked me too and they even gave me gifts when I don't even teach them...

I just sat down quietly to mark all of your books... yet, there were more and more pilling up on my table when I walked away to run another errand.

I wrote and jotted down what you have done in the name list which I typed... carefully tick each column so that I won't miss out any...

Tears come out but other students from other classes came to hug me and shake hands with me... give me gifts, their handmade photo album and cards to thank me...

Some of you gave me the most wonderful cards which are handmade gifts and cards and cards with their handwriting and signature... (I still feel very happy when I look at these gifts and handmade cards, they are on my desk now. I must acknowlege them yet I won't reveal their identity as I promised)... There was one from 4C who came to see me b4 school ends... Gosh, I was so happy yet some disappointment filled me... His presense speaks a thousand words... this is because I longed to see my beloved and talented 4C... what I wish for on my last day is them... come to see me for the last time... 

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I was evaluating myself...

Have I been a strict and heartless teacher when I present myself in class?... Strict and serious in teaching because I want to cut the precious gems God puts into my hands so that by the end of the day when I leave them I could see shinny and beautiful diamonds formed.

Have I covered everything I am supposed to do as a professional teacher? I checked myself and I am sure I did all I have to do. Even finished marking the last min exercise books which I could have just rejected as I was told...

I used the last class which is only less than 30 min for myself to enjoy the last moment with you all coz I don't want to use any of your lesson for my personal attention then we have less one class to cover what we suppose to study. I hope you all could understand the reason behind cannot have fun most of the time. 

Lastly, I want to apologise too if I have done anything wrong that made you upset. I wanted to say this to all of you... during the last class... It was so rushing that I forgot too... 

I have spoken my heart and my thoughts. Don't keep feeling sorry and stay even further from me. I am not as hard to reach as you thought (this is one of the comments I often get) Yes, I am serious person YET i could be a HIGH I aka Crazy Person.

Let's us break the ice to come nearer to each other through our blog. I often see big ice among you all in your class. COME ON! LoOsSsee Yourself! Let's come together, share with each other and build each other! This blog is what we owned together. It is a meaningful blog in our world, at least my world.